pysche101

Im lonely, upset and this is the only place to post without anyone i know findin out :(

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 18:10:45 GMT

ive cried so much in the past few days i think i caused the fuckin puddles in the streets. I wish there was someone who i could talk to, i mean really talk to, who didnt judge me or get upset or any of that. I just wish i had a FRIEND. I am literally too DEPRESSED to eat. I think of chocolate and cake and pizza and ice cream and chips and crisps and pop. Nothing. My mouth doesnt even water. Normally id tell myself to stop thinking about horrible things like that because they make you want to binge. But now i dont have to. I dont think i care if i die of starvation because i deserve to die. I hurt everyone who comes to know me. So much that my friends dont really give a shit whether im here or not. And yet what fucks me off to the max, is the fact that i hurt the ONLY person who cares about me, n the only person who i really care about. Thats fuckin gratitude for you isnt it?! Im such a bitch, i really do deserve to die. No, wait, i deserve an eating disorder. There, i said it. Being dead is a fuckin privilege. Your at peace, no pain or suffering. So i dont even deserve that. I deserve to starve n to hurt n to feel so bad that post boring rambles on live journal that no one will ever read except for me. I deserve it because when you hurt someone who cares about you and you care about them, that its only fair that you feel pain for causing someone else pain. I hurt you, so i hurt myself. Sounds fair to me. And now i shall go off and say goodbye to the future me reading this. I love you antonio (my boyfriend), even though youll never know how much. (unless you like somehow know this profile is mine!). Oh and a little note to the future me: ARE YOU IN PAIN YET COS YOU FUCKIN DESERVE TO BE YOU SELFISH DISGUSTING SLAG! BA- BYE, I HATE YOU (ME)!!

how do i lose one stone?

Fri, 16 May 2008 23:08:01 GMT

im 7stone 7lbs and to get to my goal weight which is 6stone 7lbs, obviously i need to lose a stone. Do you think that if i eat 200 calories at the most per day, ill lose it within a month? I would post this on pro ana, but im still waitin to be accepted :( xxx

binging...

Fri, 02 May 2008 13:59:21 GMT

arrrrrrrrrrr kill me!! Ive been binging for the past two weeks, i think ive had about 700-1000 calories every day! I think im slipping and i dont know what the hell to do! I feel so disgusted with myself! I purge and purge even though i know thats no good just doing that, BUT I CANT STOP EATING! Please someone help me i dont know how to stop, like smoking, i say "oh ill just do it tomorrow, ill not eat tomorrow, ill give up this binging" but i never do :( : ( : (

im happy with myself for once!

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 21:46:06 GMT

so yesterday i starved, didnt eat anything all day, then today i discovered that iron bru diet can has only 3 calories in it! So i bought that, i also had an apple and a kit kat (107 cals) so i would say that ive had under 200 cals today! Woohoo! Lol also my friends have apparantly talked about me saying that ive lost a lot of weight! Woo! N how many cals are there in an apple anyways? Ive never found out! Haha out of all the things...
Anyway,
Im goin to do sit ups now then watch skins in a bit- n oh guess which character its focused on this week! The one and only anorexic angel herself cassie! Love her!
And v happy with myself! Yay! Xxxxxx

is this true?

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 00:43:05 GMT

is it true that when you dont eat and you do exercise, do you burn off mainly fat or muscle? If so then do you think not eating and doing quite a bit of exercise would result in weight loss? Please help!

tips on low calorie food?

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 22:09:52 GMT

hi, i currently eat around 600 cals a day but i dont feel like its getting me anywhere as i keep binging from time to time on the enemy, such as chocolate and foods with a high calorific content. I need some ideas on what foods dont contain many cals but keep the hunger away as well as cravings. Any ideas??

Writer's Block: Neurotic Behavior

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 01:09:44 GMT

god, ive just looked on google at all these models with great legs and well... Just great everything. I ate way too much again today, so i purged when my mum went out. It makes me so angry when i have to purge. I just think "if you didn't eat so much you wouldn't have to do this you fat cow!!" its about 10 past 1 in the morning. I tried going to sleep but my mind was just all over the place. I'm going to do sit up's, no matter what time it is :(

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 02:32:04 GMT

ooh hello me! Im postin to myself see! (im just checkin to see if this works lol!)

today... Please help!

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 19:54:29 GMT

today i ate loads! I feel disgusted with myself!!! How do u stop yourself from going on huge binges?? Someone please help :(